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Traverse Maniacs Vol. III
(2012-10-05 - 2012-10-05)
In the third article, our intrepid world-crossing journalist makes an assessment of one of the Heartless! B-but is it really useful info?
Merilan Yursalin (A third publication of Traverse Maniacs has gone out. Once more, the circulation has increased... this time, by a significant number! Ontop of that, it's actually being stocked - for free - in dairies, market stalls, and newsagents in Traverse Town.)

-= Traverse Maniacs Vol. III =-

The list of 'Lost and Found' has certainly grown; it's got its own page now, and in particular:

* Missing: Yuna -- A tall, quiet man named Auron and a girl called Rikku are searching for a woman named Yuna. From what I hear, she's a summoner. I wonder if she can summon her own Yarhi? Though, that's probably not the case.

>> MEAN! Heartless Invasion!

Everyone, we're all painfully aware of the threat that the Heartless pose on us - this humble reporter's been pulled into two battles over the last few weeks! As scary as it is, I'd like to write a little about what I've encountered, so that we might be a little bit prepared!

Name: Handy Handsy Cage Heartless

Location Encountered: Traverse Town Coliseum
Type: Big, Pushy And Probably Arrogant Type

(There's a picture that... looks like it's sort of been drawn by an excited 6-year old in crayon, of a giant barrel... or perhaps cage... of a Heartless with two oversized hands. Holding an ice cream.)

Goodness! This giant Heartless came in to the Coliseum and tried to kidnap people -- if it weren't for everyone gathered there, it would've certainly turned out very bad.

It's got this giant cage for a body. I wonder if it's because it's malnourished? Then again, do Heartless eat anything? I guess not... but, Mr. Cage Heartless, it isn't healthy to just have a ribcage for a body and nothing else!

Attack Name: The Hundred Hand Slap
Notes: Often seen when opponent is in the corner, Frame Advantage Type

When you've got such big hands, I suppose all you can do is really swing them a lot, but, mumu, this Heartless can really swing them fast! Once you're caught, that's it for you, so I hope you brought lotion, because your cheeks are going to sting for a while.

I suppose the best way to deal with this is to just get out of the way. Or not be close in the first place.

Number of Hands Rating: A Lot

Attack Name: The Go Straight to Jail
Notes: Used when Mr. Cage gets upset, The I Win Button

Mr. Cage thinks you're some kind of national treasure and grabs hold and puts you in his cage belly. I still wonder if he's just hungry. Although, he's not digesting anyone anytime soon like that. Someone should ask him, if we see him again!

You're restricted a lot once you're inside, so I hope that everyone else is sporting and doesn't continue to shoot you. Although, if they do, they're at risk of shooting Mr. Cage as well.

Therefore, maybe a solid cage would be better than a cage with bars?

Nutritional Rating: Deplorable

(At the bottom of the publication reads, 'Thank you to Mr. Merlin for teaching me how to duplicate my publication! But, you know, a lot of people seem to mistake our names for each other. Are Merlin and Merilan really that close? Mumumu...')

 
This scene contained 1 poses. The players who were present were: Merilan Yursalin.