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Meet The Deep Fryer
(2013-05-06 - 2013-05-07)
Minette aquires a deep fryer. Science quickly follows.
Minette Odam The common area of the Ame-no-Torifune is small and cramped; but that's life on an airship for you. There are only a small handful of rooms on the entire boat that are of any particular comfort, most of them used by one Souji Murasame. Minette, being one of the most important people in the syndicate, not only has her own office but her own quarters, as well! They just happen to be located in the same room. Space is at a premium.

The first thing that Minette did when she discovered the wonders of 'deep frying' was give herself a stomach ache and the runs. THEN she set it up in the airship's commons and started cajoling people into bringing things to experiment with. Thus far, no one has but this is normal for Minette's life. And Thirza has promised to bring 'things', she may be out in the wilds hunting random creatures for ingredients.

Minette is currently attempting to shove a 'block' of cheese into the deep frier. It does not fit; she's attempting to force it with little success.

Kyra is just a visitor. She had arrived last night with the intention of studying the electricity-devouring monster that Helena had captured on one of her expeditions. Excited by the prospect of studying such a fascinating creature, Kyra easily spent the entire night wound up in her research. It was during the early hours of the morning when she finally passed out on the little bed that Helba kept in her 'spartan' lab.

Kyra woke up about an hour ago, dehydrated and grouchy. Her thoughts had immediately turned to departing from the airship as soon as possible-until she heard Minette utter the words 'Deep Fryer' over their little network. After, thankfully, getting cleaned up, the white mage finally makes her way into the common room.

Her hoodie is slung over one shoulder and her bandoliers have been looped over her chest once more, sporting reams of little test tubes. She's also brought a styrofoam cooler with her, not unlike the kind found transporting spare organs.

"Oooh. Don't put the whole thing in like that...we should slice it up into sticks. Then we'll have deep-fried cheese sticks."
Minette Odam Minette is just as pretty and special and important as everyone else and one day everyone else in the world will realize it.

"In... /sticks/?" Minette asks, pausing from her attempt to put her full weight on the cheese so that she can look up. Her voice contains no small amount of awe, as if the very concept of slicing cheese into sticks is a grand revelation for her.

Then again, this is Minette, it very well might be.

Minette hops down off of the table and pushes her glasses back up her nose. She has somehow managed to get grease on them. Who knows how. There are a number of things laid out on the table, many and varigated. There are a few cuts of meat, of course... but there are also several candy bars, a bag of marshmellows, some mushrooms, fish, an apple, and not a single vegitable to be seen.
Kyra Hyral "Yes! In sticks-" Kyra starts gesturing with her fingers, "If you cut them into smaller sticks, you get more surface area, which means MORE deep-fried goodness. Which is the point of deep frying." Appraisingly, Kyra looks over the food that Minette has arrayed on the table, no doubt destined for the deep fryer at one point tonight.

Her eyes linger on the candy bars. "...huh. I never would have considered deep frying those. I've got some stuff too..." She plops down the cooler on the table and pushes the top off. Within, there is ice and...several small test tubes? There isn't anything remotely food-like inside.

A pair of tongs Kyra had wedged into one of the loops of her bandoliers is pulled out. "This is liquid nitrogen. I don't think Helena will miss it." Carefully, she pulls out one of the test tubes, which contains a clear liquid. The tube is stoppered, fortunately. She shows it off to Minette before putting it back into the cooler.

"Do you have a knife? If not, I can run off and grab a scapel from the lab."
Souji Murasame "You could also just get one from the ship's kitchen." Souji replies. "Use the proper tool for the job."


The Murasame heir walks in, looking over the antics of those present with only a light expression of disbelief. He has a folded paper under one arm and a leather-bound folder in his opposite hand. He moves over to one corner of the room and sits down in a chair, looking like he's planning to have nothing to do with these antics. He will, however, watch while he reads over said papers. Don't mind him, he's only judging you from over here.
Minette Odam "Yeah, I just grabbed a bunch of stuff that was just laying about." Minette admits. "Thirza said she'd bring things by... didn't say what, though." And when the cooler is opened, Minette leans over and all but puts her face in it, trying to see what's inside. She plucks up an ice cube. "What's that?" She asks of the test tube. And then she conducts science! Can an ice cube be deep fried?

Minette plunks the cube into the frier; grease splatters a little. And then bubbles and boils as the frozen water is added to the oil. Hot oil gets bloody well /everywhere/ as the oil and water have a violent disagreement before the water flash-boils away. Minette adjusts her glasses and snorts out a laugh. ""

"Ha!" Minette reaches into her coat and produces a sturdy, if well used, knife. "A levitani always carries a knife with them. Wouldn't be caught without one. Oh hi, boss, how's it gowiddjawhatja..." Minette starts, flinching away from Souji's sudden appearence because /godsdamn/.
Kyra Hyral Kyra nearly jumps a foot into the air when Souji speaks up. "Gah!" Whirling, she turns to glare at her classmate as he strolls in with coious amounts of reading material. The urge to tell him to buzz off elsewhere was strong...but ultimately quelled since this was his ship.

"Yes, well, /I/ don't know where the ship's kitchen is." she pulls up a pair of plastic lab goggles because clearly she will need the splatter protection. "Liquid nitrogen. It's a cryogenic fluid that can cause rapid freezing on contact. This includes freezing of stuff like skin and flesh so do NOT get any on you. I just want to use it to flash-freeze some non-water liquids."

Minette whips out a REAL KNIFE. Kyra's oddly relieved. "Oh yeaaaah I'm pretty sure Myla said that once. Commence the cutting!"

For funsies, Kyra tosses another ice cube into the deep fryer just to watch it splatter away.
Souji Murasame Souji simply shrugs, keeping himself out of the doom radius. He hasn't put up protective fields. Yet. "Hello, Kyra Hyral. You appear to be well for the moment." He smiles faintly. "Thankfully, it appears Odam has the issue covered." He looks down at his papers, and then back over to the deep fryer as they toss ice into it. He pushes the chair back a few inches.
Minette Odam "Oh." Minette replies to Kyra. It does not occur to her that 'Helena won't miss it' may actually be code for 'I'm stealing it'. But then again, Minette knows how to deal with such things; loss-prevention write-off. It's insured. Or... should be, by now, anyway.

Minette starts cutting into the cheese. She starts making irregularly shaped cuts into the block. Some of them are stick shaped. Others are not. She gives a glance over towards Souji, then back towards Kyra. It reminds her of highschool; a Hyral steps into the room and Souji's attention is instantly on it instead of her. So unfair. "How many do you want, Mr. Murasame?"
Kyra Hyral Thankfully for all involved, Kyra did not take ALL the liquid nitrogen from the lab she had been sleeping in. Just a lot of it.

There is no course correction provided for Minette's cutting. Kyra's knife skills are actually pretty terrible, which contrasts strangely with her precision with a scalpel. It's probably best that she doesn't wield a knife while around food.

"Hello Murasame." Kyra says dryly, flicking extra bits of water off her fingers from the ice she had been handling. "Yes, well, I am feeling a lot better than an hour ago." She can't even manage a faint smile with Souji around. In fact, she seems slightly more guarded with him around. ", I need some warm water. I'll be right back." She leaves the room to make a quick visit to the lab she previously vacated (after fliching some materials).
Souji Murasame Souji doesn't seem to mind that she stole the hell out of the liquid nitrogen. Celba can go get more. He always seems oddly lenient with the Hyrals, and Kyra in particular. "Right." He says when she leaves, looking back down to his papers.

After a minute, the blinks, remembering that Odam asked him something. Speaking of unfair... "Ah, yes." He looks over to her. "I'll have one." Just one.
Minette Odam It takes all of five seconds after Kyra leaves the room for Minette to get catty. There are no other girls about so she doesn't say anything truely nasty, but she does say, "She shouldn't be rude like that to you. It's disrespectful, especially considering..." She doesn't continue, though, as Souji places his order. "One fried cheese stick, coming right up!" Minette scans her butchered handiwork, selecting the /best/ stick and dropping it into the deep frier. She then, after a moment's thought, picks up a candy bar and plunks it in.
Thirza Ingersleben "Mineeeeette!" someone calls out from down the hall. "Sorry it took a while, I got lost on the way back.

A green haired girl stumbles into the room in a dirty, cut up outfit that looks vaguely like something someone might wear on a safari mixed with an antiquated military uniform. Her glasses are slightly eschew. She has flan.

Flan, in this case, being the remains of one of the family of gelatinous monsters instead of the popular custard in several Spanish speaking countries. It has left a trail of goo in her wake which probably allowed Thirza to haul it up here. She looks hopeful. "Do you think we can fry this?"

Thirza takes a moment to get her bearings, adjusting her glasses as she does. "Oh! Mister Murasame, sir! I'm sorry about the mess, Minette sent me to find something to cook and well--I didn't know it'd be so gooey. I promise I'll clean it up right away!"
Kyra Hyral This liquid nitrogen is being sacrificed for the best of causes. SCIENCE!

Completely missing Minette's midly catty remarks behind her back (wow, it IS just like high school!), Kyra strolls back in holding a basin of hot water. She's not far behind Thirza and seems to be looking on her with confusion. "Whoah, what happened to your outfit?"

Before she gets much farther, Kyra's right foot suddenly slides down along the slime trail left behind by the hauled flan. The white mage shrieks in alarm as she loses her balance, slips, and spills all the water in the basin. On the bright side, water all over the floor is one step closer to cleaning up slime. On the not-so-bright side, the water got all over Kyra too. Looking like a drowned moogle for a moment, she forlornly picks up the basin.

Luckily her hoodie was spared! It was left on the table next to the styrofoam cooler. "...I'll be right back. Again."
Souji Murasame If Souji wasn't a high-powered business magnate he'd be looking at that deep fryer with some trepidation. As it is, he frowns... And then there's suddenly some Thirza Intervention.

The blobby flan trail causes him to frown more. He leans forward slightly, adjusting his glasses. "You're going to deep fry.... a Flan." He says, neutrally. He leans back, and looks back down at the paper, opening it back up. "See that you do, Ingersleben."

The shriek of Kyra causes Souji to actually look up in mild alarm. He does, however, see that she survived. "My apoligies, Kyra Hyral." He looks over at Thirza with a squinting expression. That better get cleaned up sooner rather than later.
Minette Odam You can take hormonal teenagers out of high school, but you can't take the hormones out of the teenagers. She forces herself to fight down a smile at Kyra's fall; it's wrong of her to feel joy at the pain of others and she knows it, but damnit it's a Hyral and she can't help herself. "That was... lucky." She says after it's found that Kyra has come to no true harm. And then Minette notices that Souji actually cared; some small part of her brain tells her that he wouldn't have gotten up if she'd been the one that fell, but she forces this down and crushes the thought because it's unpleasant. "...could have been a lawsuit." She adds, somewhat lamely.

But Thirza! Suddenly all is more right with the world. "You brought a... flan?" Minette asks, inspecting the kill with no small amount of trepedation. "Well, why not?" Minette's knife comes out and she carves out a blob of redish-orange flesh which she unceremoniously dumps into the fry oil. Her candy bar has already disintegrated (they don't last long in friers) but that's okay because she's already forgotten it.
Thirza Ingersleben Thirza makes a concerned noise vaguely like a squeak when Kyra slips in the hallway. She hops back out into the hallway to help her up, but finds she's already disappeared to clean herself up and get more water. Thirza, as such, moves to go find a mop.

As an afterthought, she calls down the hallway. "Yes, sir, Mr. Murasame! I'll clean it up right away!" A pause. "I'll be back soon, Minette! Save me some flan!" A pause.

"If it's worth eating," she adds, more quietly.
Kyra Hyral Hearing Souji's voice actually surprises Kyra a little. Slowly, she looks over at him, staring for a long moment before picking herself back up on her feet.

No lawyer in their right mind would challenge the might of the Murasame. This goes unsaid by Kyra as she walks back out with the basin. Minutes pass. Kyra returns.

There's a towel slung across her shoulders now and a new, fresh basin of water in her hands. Ever so carefully, she tiptoes around the slime trail and successfully makes it back to the table with her water in tact.

"I wish there were more monsters we could fry." Kyra remarks, "Some might even be edible that way." She seems terribly curious about the flan. Was THAT edible?

Removing one of the vials strapped to her, which contains a green liquid that glows just slightly, she carefully procures one of the liquid nitrogen tubes. The liquid nitrogen is poured into the green-liquid-vial, immediately freezing it. The warm water is used to cool it just a little until the green liquid, now frozen, can be slid out of the tube.

"Alright." she holds onto the green ice cube with her tongs. "Deep-fried potion is /go/." She drops it into the deep fryer alongside the flan chunk and steps back.
Minette Odam The inside of this deep frier hasn't been cleaning in three days, all manner of things have been thrown in, and Minette hasn't had the sense to change the oil... only add to it when it gets low. The flan, lacking any true consistancy, disolves in short order, adding it's 'unique flavor' to the oil, along side a melted chocolate bar and Souji's singular cheese stick. And then... Kyra adds a frozen potion.

Ice + oil = violent fire risk

The hot oil goes crazy because the frozen potion melts, mixing the water-base potion with the hot oil. Oil bubbles upwards, a spray hits the cieling, hits those nearby, washes over the edges of the small fryer to splatter across the table in what's going to be a total bitch to clean up later.

Minette shrieks and hits the deck, crying out, "I'M HIT!" like a soldier in a B-list war movie.
Thirza Ingersleben By the time Kyra returns with the potion, Thirza is hard work with a towel (and a mop and bucket, but not at the same time) at cleaning up the slime trail. It is quite a long trail, so it may take some time to competely wipe up. Unfortunately, around the time she gets well into working on the mess, there's a shriek from Minette as the fryer bubbles and pops.

"Minette!" Thirza calls out. It is swiftly followed by a sequence of sounds: a splash (as though someone stepped in a bucket), wheels rolling (as though the bucket were rolling down the hall), and then another crash (as though bucket and occupant collided with a wall or another object. Finally, there's a low groan.

A few moments later, Thirza reappears with the bucket still on her foot and part of the map draped over her head. "Is everyone okay? What happened?"
Kyra Hyral On the way back, Kyra takes special care to avoid the remains of the slime trail. This mission? A smashing succss. Kyra starts to consider this special 'emenent.'

"Whoaaah." Kyra is watching a bit closer than is probably safe because she has eye protection. Surely no harm will come to her if she has eye protection! Incidentally, she survives well enough safe for a few oil splatters on her here and there. "Haha, that was awesome-Minette? Are you hurt?" Kyra is already grabbing a fresh, non-frozen potion. "I can fix it!" Thirza promptly has an off-screen mishap. "Oh no." she gasps at Thirza. "Are YOU okay? That sounded catastrophic."
Minette Odam "M'good." comes Minette's plaintive groan from somewhere beneath the table. She starts to push herself up off of the floor, plants her hand squarely upon a patch of slime, and ends up falling to the floor again. She hoists herself to her feet by grabbing onto the table and pulling up. She was sloppy before, she is a mess now, with oil dripping from one twist brain, flan soaking the other, and water most everywhere else. She removes her glasses and rubs them against the corner of her shirt. This succeeds only in spreading the oil droplets around and making a bigger mess of the lens then when she started.

It's days like these that Minette is convinced that everyone in the Hyral family has it in for her. Surely Alma will try to kill her in her sleep. Surely.
Souji Murasame Souji takes this opportunity to facepalm, sighing. He's sitting far enough back that the violent splatters and oily death fail to strike him by about a foot. The back of the paper takes a few drops for the team as well, almost like Souji was expecting this to happen. He considers the confluence of SCIENCE and his less... gifted... employees and wonders if he's going to need to call in the mages to repair structural damage at this rate.

"Have you learned anything from putting frozen liquids into hot oil?" He asks no one in particular, turning to the next page of his paper.

When Thirza reappears, Souji says simply, "Ingersleben." And then promptly flings the leatherbound folder at Thirza across the room with precision accuracy, expecting her to catch it. "I'm going to need you to look over these sites later when you're done... experimenting."
Thirza Ingersleben "Oh, I'll be fine. I think I'm going to have to replace the mop though. I think that was the only thing damaged, at least. You should tend to Minette first, please, I don't think we've met." Thirza extends her hand hopefully. "I'm Thirza. Thirza Ingersleben. I'm a surveyor. I scout out locations and--"

"Yes s--" Thirza turns as the folder comes flying at her. It clocks her right in the forehead, knocking her glasses aschew and liberating the mop from her hair. Somehow, she catches it as though she were expecting that to happen, or at least can react to that better. It falls perfectly into her hand, after which she adjusts her glasses. "Um, yes sir. I can start now, I'll start as soon as I've helped clean up. If that's okay, sir."
Kyra Hyral Before rushing off to Minette's not-aid, Kyra shares a handshake with Thirza, "Kyra Hyral, nice to meet you."

Kyra peeks around the table just to confirm that Minette is okay. Just then, she sees her slip and fall again on more of the slime. Kyra gasps and steps forward to help her stand, but Minette has already stood on her own power by then.

"Clearly we need something with less water in it to use." Kyra says cheerfully. She turns to look at the cooler, still filled with test tubes of unused liquid nitrogen.

"...I should probably put the rest of those back. Be right back." she says, almost sheepishly. Carefully the cooler is taken and she walks the chemicals on out.
Minette Odam "Is she gone?" Minette asks of Kyra, in the same tone that people in horror movies ask 'is it safe?' She looks around blindly, unable to see through her muddied superglasses.
Souji Murasame Page page page. "For now." Souji replies. "How are your culinary experments progressing?"

He nods to Thirza as well. "That'll be fine, Ingersleben."
Artyom W. Valodjn There is a sound. It is the sound of footsteps reverberating through the floor. It's as if there was something very large and very heavy moving through the Ame no Torifune, making its way toward the common room. Only one man on this ship can make such a sound.

It is one Artyom W. Valodjn.

As he enters the room, it is clear that- yes, that is /indeed/ an Artyom. But it is not just an Artyom. It is an Artyom with what appears to be a fishnetted sack filled to the brim with various savory meats.

Artyom peers at the... Disaster of the common room. The experimental residue, the Minette who'd just crawled her way out from beneath a table, the Souji sitting, immacculately, in his chair, with his papers. Artyom takes all this in, and then makes his way to the deep fryer and sets his meat-sack aside.

"So," Artyom rumbles, peering down at the mess, "...Is it still safe to cook in?"
Thirza Ingersleben Thirza treats the folder as though it were a sacrament, being careful not to dirty it with mop-water or grease. Unfortunately, right after she gets her instructions from The Boss, she finds herself shaken up a bit by the thumping. She almost (almost) falls over when her bucket covered foot starts to roll out from under her, but then she has the sense to lift her foot out of the bucket.

She looks up at Artyom. "Um, hello. I'm Thirza Ingersleben. I don't think we've met." She looks at the sack of meat. "--is that meat? What kind is it?"
Minette Odam The oil inside of the fryer is a reddish-black sludge with little bits of... gods know what floating in it. As if in responce to Artyom's question, the poor, tortured device actually catches on fire. Minette lets out a sympathetic whimper; the fryer is now in a place beyond pain and yet she will have to face tomorrow. Life is decidedly unfair.

"Hi, Artyom." She said, depressively.
Artyom W. Valodjn The fryer catches fire, in what is probably the most pitiful exhibitions of Stuff-Catching-On-Fire that Artyom has seen in a long while. It's enough to make him want to put the poor little machine out of its misery. Instead, Artyom sighs. He reaches into his pocket and flips a small quartz crystal into the oil. Like a seed taking root, the gem begins to sprout into a tangle of crystalline layers, covering the unfortunate pot in a thin layer of suffocating silicon tetroxide.

You can almost hear the machine-spirit squeak one last, painful gasp of thanks before moving on to the great appliance store in the sky.

"That's too bad," Artyom rumbles, "I was looking forward to frying some of this meat. Perhaps you will need to take better care of your next fryer, Minette." He turns, then, toward Thirza, offering a warm smile. "Hello. I am Artyom W. Valodjn, retainer to the Murasame family. It is a pleasure," Artyom gently hefts the bag against his shoulder, adjusting his arms to better support its weight. "I brought all this to fry- it's mostly sausage, belly-bacon, ham. Nothing too extravagant or special."
Souji Murasame Souji just gives Artyom a look. Artyom knows this look. It's the 'Whatever Odam Says Is Totally Wrong' look. "That depends on if Odam's changed the oil and cleaned the fryer yet."

The fryer catches on fire. Souji doesn't look up. "Too late." He says. Frank will deal with the fire, he's the earth specialist. "Ingersleben is the other member of our survey team, Valodjn." Souji comments. "I've kept you both deployed in different locations. We didn't need two geomancers in one place until now."
Minette Odam Minette abruptly changes emotional tracks, slamming a fist into an open palm. "Well, we'll just have to get a new fryer. A /better/ fryer. A fryer to make all the others envious!" She throws back her head and laughs, not unlike a supervillain. And then;

"Oh, that reminds me, boss! I'm still running the numbers, but I think there's a tool manufacture in some place called Narshe that I think we should buy to shut down."
Thirza Ingersleben "Nice to meet you Artyom!" Thirza says cheerily. She seems like a friendly lady. "The pleasure's mine." Her eyes widen when Artyom explains what's in the bag, as though he'd just told her it was full of gold. "R-really? You brought that much meat?" Thirza adds more quietly, "I don't think I've ever seen that much meat in one place." Sometimes things are hard in Shiva.

She suddenly turns around to look at Murasame. "Oh, really? I didn't know we had other geomancers. I look forward to working with you."
Artyom W. Valodjn "Perhaps," Artyom suggests good-naturedly in Minette's general direction, "We should just get another small fryer and avoid putting things in it that would end with spontaneous electrical-oil fires? I believe we'd all be... safer."

Because even if the Torifune rides on stormclouds and is maintained by non-stop mage-chanting, it is still at least partly flammable.

He huffs, setting the Sack-O'-Meat down. Its base seems to be covered internally in a sheath of wax paper, to protect its delicious contents. "Well, perhaps I will have to find some other way of cooking- or storing- all this meat. You're welcome to some of it, of course."

The massive Titan casts a curious look at his employer, before giving an acknowledging nod. "Understood, sir." Because Frank understands that Souji likes keeping his full list of employees a secret and/or we have no idea who else will end up apping into the faction and so it's best to just go with it. "Indeed, Miss Ingersleben," Artyom says without missing a beat- because you can do that when your name is about as impronounceable, "I hope we will accomplish great things together."
Souji Murasame So there it is. Odam has gained a new goal: To acquire the ultimate deep fryer. Souji mentally marks an incremental improvement in Odam's progress. At least she's showing /some/ kind of ambition.

"Sounds like a plan, Odam. We need a place to begin manufacturing as it is, and Narshe is a good target market for our initial offerings. It's out in the wilds and they have a constant need for heavy industry and defense. Make it happen."

Souji turns to Thirza and Artyom. "I need the both of you to head to our locations in the Mythril Mines near Junon, and the mountain range in Palamecia. I want you to check for anything rare. Adamant, ruins, Magicite, whatever. I am expecting the Emperor to backstab us when it's convenient for him and I want to make sure I have the important stuff before he does so. That way, he can gloat over his iron and pretend he's accomplishing something." He pauses. "Before I inform him of how bad an idea it is to backstab me instead of simply requesting a renegotiation of our arrangement, of course."
Thirza Ingersleben "Um, Minette might be better at finding that than I am. I'm not very good directions on the ship. I think it um...messes with my signals, or something." Thirza turns slightly red. When Artyom mentions that she can have some of the meat her eyes widen. "Like...just have it? Really? Um, I don't really know what to say..."

Thriza turns to give Souji a salute because it seems appropriate. "Yes sir, I'll be glad to head there right away."
Artyom W. Valodjn "Understood, sir," Artyom offers a quick salute, "I will be on my way once I've gathered my surveying equipment. If there are dense, arcane metals buried there, I believe that we will be able to find them. I assume that I should also bring arms and armor, in case the Emperor decides to step up his agenda."

Artyom lets his arm fall as he regards Thirza once more, "Of course. Otherwise, it will just go to waste, after all. Though I assume that most of the salted meats will keep for quite a while. I will keep the more travel-worthy provisions with us as we move."

This scene contained 38 poses. The players who were present were: Kyra Hyral, Souji Murasame, Artyom W Valodjn, Minette Odam, Thirza Ingersleben